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  • Writer's pictureMichael McEntee

Personal Choices

As we continue to observe self-isolation and lock-down in the UK, let us take this time to reflect on what were our normal day-to-day habits and routines. To evaluate on what we’ve done, and what we’d normally do, if we weren’t on lockdown. Perhaps, we could take charge of this very unique opportunity to assess if now is a worthwhile time to set some new goals and desired achievements. To have a plan for success as we “eventually” reintegrate with society after this COVID-19 episode.

Maybe we already have a Plan A written down and in place, but do we need a Plan B as well? The key question I have for you is whether your plans are robust and full proof, or do you actually suspect that you will succumb to self-sabotage?? Will you in fact be the person who subconsciously throws a ‘Spanner in the works’ and allow yourself to fall at the first hurdle? With this in mind, I’d like you to consider if the following have ever acted as stumbling blocks in the past? I ask you to be brutally honest with yourselves and acknowledge if you’ve allowed self-imposed hurdles to block your reality? If this is the case, and you’re comfortable with acknowledging this as your reality, is it now a worthwhile consideration to develop that Plan B?

Examples of self-sabotage

Procrastination - delaying action, insisting other things must take precedence before goals can be progressed.

Perfectionism - keep re-doing something because it must be perfect, but in doing so we never seem to move any closer to our goals.

Dreaming - blissfully spending our time dreaming about how wonderful life will be when we achieve our goals. We create wonderful plans, lists and vision boards, but never take any real action.

Laziness - we expect everyone around us to take action for us and won’t take any action ourselves.

Blaming others - we won’t take responsibility and blame everyone else for our past failures or inaction.

Being a ‘Scatterbrain’ - being disorganised and running around, never seeming to make progress. Scatterbrains never move closer to their goals because they’re always too busy dealing with one crisis or another.

Ask yourself the following questions

  • Which example of self-sabotage best describes you?

  • What kind of things do you do when you are self-sabotaging your goals?

  • How does this affect your progress?

Where’s your head at?

When we are experiencing a ‘Low Quality of Mind’ (as opposed to enjoying a ‘High Quality of Mind’) we have a tendency to wallow in a state of blame and excuses and create drama in our lives. We blame other people: family, friends, work colleagues, etc. We blame circumstances relating to our lives; our job; where we live; lack of money; poor quality of life; inability to form quality relationships; etc. On the other hand, when we are enjoying a ‘High Quality of Mind’, we are more relaxed; more compassionate; more understanding.

Both deliver two very different sets of moods and feelings, yet both quality of minds are a mirror image of ourselves. When we are compassionate with others, we are in fact compassionate with ourselves. However, when we are aggressive with others, we are equally aggressive towards ourselves. It’s as if you’re standing in front of a mirror and shouting at yourself. What we seek, by asking these questions, is an awareness of the effect’s of our inner critic driven (the Chatterbox) self-sabotaging actions. Through awareness, we can have better control over self-sabotage and deliver a more robust Plan B that will allow us not to get distracted with the proverbial hurdles and 'Spanners in the works'. In fact, it will allow us to focus on the highs rather than the lows in our life and ultimately deliver on our hearts desires.

If you have enjoyed what you’ve read, take some time to review our other blog posts. They only take a few minutes to read and are packed with useful information.

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